A Conversation with God Shmod – 1

Sometimes irony gets lost in translation. Sometimes it even gets lost between people who usually gets it. Nobody is perfect. Even I am only near-perfect. And, sometimes I confuse people for my own amusement. No Dogs were harmed in this conversation.

So, the conversation between God Shmod and one of his disciples went as follows

Disciple
 Disciple
Hitler was a Catholic
No, but… He was a secret atheist. He just went to church to dupe his followers.

Disciple 
Disciple

You sure?

I see more evidence of him being Christian in these pictures than any evidence I have of him being an atheist.

God Shmod

 God Shmod

Of course I’m sure. Everybody knows that Hitler was an atheist. Just read your bible.

Disciple Disciple

I have no bible.

 God Shmod
That’s why you don’t know. That’s why you think Hitler was a Christian.
Disciple 

Disciple

That doesn’t make sense to me.

 God Shmod
You can’t know the ways of the Lord. He is mysterious.

Disciple Disciple
Does that mean nobody is a Christian?

 

God ShmodGod Shmod

No. If you believe in God, then you are a Christian. Unless you do bad things. Everybody who does bad things are atheists or Satanists. Except Muslims. They are Muslims whether they are bad or not. And that is bad. But, if you are a Christian and you do bad things, then you are not a real Christian, which means you are an atheist or Satanist, because those people are bad. So, even if Hitler did what he did in the name of Jesus, (amen), he was actually a closet atheist, because he killed so many Jews. A Christian would not kill so many Jews.

Disciple Disciple
Who says which Christian is a real one and which one is not?
There are Muslims who kill Jews and Christians because they don’t believe in their religion and we still call them Muslims.

God Shmod
God Shmod
Christians decide which Christians are real or not. Duh! That’s because Christians know Christianity. You can’t know Christianity unless you are a Christian.
Muslims are all bad, whether they kill or not. So, it makes no difference. That’s why we call them all Muslims.

Disciple Disciple

There are definitely good Muslims.
There are also bad Christians who are called Christians nonetheless.

 God Shmod
There are Muslims who do good things. But they are bad by default, because they are Muslim. Just like atheists and Satanists.
A Christian who does bad is not a real Christian, even if he calls himself a Christian. You can’t be a Christian if you live according to low-moralled, secular values. Bad Christians are all secret atheists.

Disciple Disciple

Do you hear yourself? Just when did you lose your mind?
God Shmod

Yesterday. I was visited by Jesus. He told me a few things, and I thought it sounded nice. I’ll decided I want to go to heaven after all.

Disciple Disciple
Oh dear!

God Shmod

God Shmod

Actually, my whole argument was taking a lot of Christian arguments that I’ve heard in the past, and mashing it together. I don’t really believe a single word I said.

Disciple Disciple
Wow, lol, for a second there you had me baffled.

J I am mysterious.

******

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2 responses to “A Conversation with God Shmod – 1

  1. Pingback: Islam is a Religion of Peace | God Shmod·

  2. Pingback: Tard – The Grumpy Cat | God Shmod·

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