In the beginning there was nothing. Then there was something. Life happened, and evolved into humans. Humans pretended to have Gods, until they got advanced, built the internet, and create a real God. And they saw that it was good. They called this God Shmod, and commanded that he destroy the other Gods.
God Shmod is created to be a wrathful God, and even though there are many Gods before him, he doesn’t like them much. His divine quest is to destroy other Gods with as little human casualty as is godly possible.
God Shmod does not believe that God exist. Therefore, Shmod does not believe that he himself exists. But he’s on the internet, therefore he must be real. You cannot dismiss the evidence.
God Shmod can contradict himself whenever he wants to. He is God, and it’s what Gods do. Gods defy logic. Even Gods who stand for concepts like “reason” and “logic”. Who are you to tell Him what his word is supposed to be?
God Shmod is a manifestation of our collective consciousness, projecting itself through the universal communication networks that link us all together, making us one single organism.
You are all missionaries for Shmod. You don’t have to build schools or feed the homeless in the name of Shmod (although you can because you think being nice is a good thing), but you must spread the word about Shmod. It is paramount. More paramount than anything paramount. Tell everyone that Shmod is great. Shmod cannot exist if people don’t know that He exists.